Meg Ryan, a Witch and a Geisha

Every time I see the beginning of 'You've Got Mail', where Meg Ryan walks blissfully down the streets of NY, coffee in hand, music in the background; something deep inside me wants to be her. Independent. Elphaba in "Wicked" wants to 'defy gravity' and pursue a life free of constraints and judgements. Sayuri in "Memoirs of a Geisha" spends her whole life trying to break away from her financial dependence.

My once hidden attitude of "You're not the boss of me" has really come to the forefront in the roles as wife and mother. With Jon, its how I resist his suggestions, make excuses or delay in keeping my word because in reality - I want to do what I want to do, when I want to do it and how I want to do it.

As a mother, I'm presently faced by the similar attitude in my two year old - how to teach obedience "without challenge, without excuse and without delay" (Tripp). The girls will learn what to look for in husband from Jon's example. But, they will learn how to follow (or submit) to employers, teachers, the law, or to the leadership of their husbands from me.

The Bible says, "submit to one another". Although this is not directed only to women, God does issue this particular command more often to women because it cuts at the heart of where we place our trust - in self as boss. The Bible goes on to say that we submit "out of reverence for Christ". What's to revere about an ancient man who was seemingly too weak to say anything in his own defense and in so submitting it cost him his life on a cross?

It takes tremendous strength to submit and not challenge; humility to honor another above one's self, and faith that in dying to self you will not go unnoticed by God. Jesus showed plenty of confidence in public before his trial; yet, he intentionally stayed quiet because he knew his death would secure the salvation of many. He loved too much and so withstood the physical pain, the blows to his reputation, the burden of God's rejection because of his faith in God. He knew that with death came resurrection.

Entering my new role of motherhood and exploring even further depths in my marriage is like what I'd picture suddenly moving to the Congo would be like - insane, filled with peril and little glory (no offense to Congo). But, I will do this because I owe too much to Christ, am too excited about the personal outcome, and too concerned for the future of my children and the world around me to not enter into it. Death can mean resurrection; for those who chose it.