My home, an ark?

"L'Arche offers a home to broken people and gives them a new sense of dignity and self-respect." ~ Henri Nouwen. What is my home like? Do I treat my husband with honor and dignity, or with contempt and disrespect? Lately, I've shown my disdain with my tone of voice and eye-widening gazes to say, "You're not respected." What about as a mother? Do I take the time from my hurried work to help two small girls grow in confidence with their various tasks and explorations? Am I too preoccupied with building my next project, achieving the next badge of skill?


The ark is a picture of safety from the storm. But, this week my home has not been that ark. My own heart has not been an ark. I have to turn to the one person who is always an ark of safety, God Almighty; trusting as I walk in, dirty and broken from my journey, that He will wash my feet, and restore my joy. Perhaps in gazing at Him through prayer, I can receive a taste of safe love and learn to resemble such patience and acceptance towards those closest to me. Maybe then, they will remember to turn to God while in their own storms. For now, my prayer? "God, be my ark".

Holy Tepot and the Girl Song

Today was one of those days when my daughter's mouth would not stop running and I think I can count how many times I heard my name in upwards of 100+. But, as frazzled and exhausted I am by my little talker, my "mini-me", I have to end the day chuckling. As we drove into the parking lot of Home Depot this evening, Riley exclaimed in delight, "Holy Tepot!" Two obvious things there: (1) the level of excitement and (2) the name. And then on the way home, she wanted to listen to the "Girl Song" or as some of you will know it by the name "Paradise" by Coldplay. I loved hearing her sing to it in the back seat with the stereo booming. Good times!

Hidden Immigrants

Hidden immigrants look like they are native born, like they fit in. But, when you interact with them, there is something as distant and unreachable in their personhood as the foreign country in which they were raised or in which they lived for an extended period of time.

This last week has been so encouraging for me as I met a hidden immigrant from Spain and immigrants from South Africa and Finland. We may have lived in vastly different countries, but we don't have to justify our existence, or explain why we see things differently. Being different brings a sense of belonging.

Christ-followers are anything but similar. They come from all types of family backgrounds, countries, economic and social status groups. Yet, their love for Jesus unites them. But, that's typically where the commonality stops. Division sets in with music preference, dress, who has been on a mission group, who is more committed at church, who has life more put together, and so on.

I read this morning that Christianity is the only faith in which its members claim that following God is a delight. Sadly, that delight is experienced privately, between the believer toward God and withheld from Christians whose differences pose some sort of threat.

Western Christians often live as hidden immigrants. They carry inside them a foreign beauty that comes out when around Christians they get-along-with or when on trips of goodwill and mercy. Their beauty decays when its compartmentalized to certain groups, times or places. This beauty is not of their own making, but comes from God. They have a unique privilege of living IN this beauty, whether they are among other Christians or not.

Hidden immigrants know where they are from. They carry the beauty of the old home within them. They love connecting with others from that world. But, this hidden culture, in all its beauty, becomes toxic if loneliness, isolation, discontent, suspicion or pride sets.

I am challenged by what it means to walk with integrity in who God made me and in how to share the wealth given me. The best example is Jesus, and I don't mean that tritely. Christ was the ultimate hidden immigrant. He came from heaven to a depraved world that did anything but accept him. He had every reason to judge the pettiness in others or to withhold his love from those who annoyed him. Yet he lived with integrity; true to himself and to God and God's kingdom ways. He did not live to exert his perfect self, or to belong to the best group of Hebrews.

Jesus shared his beauty when teaching in and out of synagogues; when extending mercy while on trips to other towns, and when walking the streets in his own hometown. His passion, his worship, his connection with others was not relegated to what he was doing nor to his location. His passion was in in God the Father and so the Father was in him.

I find comfort in God's compassion towards me, that He remembers my frame. He knows how I am made and how I struggle walking in integrity with Him in me. I don't have to be perfect. I just need to walk.

Work, Wealth & Poverty

"He wanted to be poor with the poor." I keep thinking about what I read this morning from Henri Nouwen in his book, "The Road to Daybreak", about the founder of L'Arch. Who wants to be poor? And who wants to live with the poor; besides NGO workers, missionaries, Catholic Sisters and Priests? 

My working definition of labor is to strive in some purposeful direction, to attain something, rise above or go beyond the present condition. When I worked in mortgage finance, I strived to close as many houses in a month as possible. I once labored to increase the number of health care users among Latino employees. I've helped improve the language ability among Spanish and English learners. I have tried to grow two different sole proprietorships. I've tried improving my housekeeping and parenting skills and to live in a more loving and understanding with my husband. I guess I know something about striving.

In my drive for more, why would I ever want to have less or live with those with less; unless it were to boost my own sense of value? And yet, to be Christian is to want to be more like Jesus. And to be more like Jesus is to have less. Jesus, the eternal, powerful, self-sustaining, contented God, gave up such wealth to live among the poor of this earth, me and you - that he might make us rich in ways we can not possibly begin imagining.

This morning, I read in Psalm 103 in the Bible that God is compassionate with me, slow to anger, gracious, abounding in kind love. He has removed my guilt and shame as high as the heavens, so great is his love. He does not treat me as my brokenness deserves. As I read these words, my broken, downcast heart began to heal. I felt thirsty, and at the encouragement of God in Revelation 22:17, I came to him freely, wanting as much as He might give to restore me. 

How might I approach work in light of such wealth from God? For me, it means being less self-absorbed in my tasks; which I typically do to medicate my own loneliness and emptiness. It means pausing from my "have-to-dos" to read a story or acknowledge my daughter's latest discovery. It means fixing another meal, handling more bodily fluids, and receiving little, if any notice from others. It means becoming poor; intentionally living with the poor. My daughters are not poor, like the child in this picture. But, they are dependent emotionally, physically and mentally on the help of others. To be a child is to need. If one is in need, one is poor. 

If you or I want to be near Jesus, then this means going where He might be found in our places of work. For a stay-at-home mother it might mean finding him changing a diaper. Or as a parent, seeing him help with homework instead of reading or watching t.v. Or as a husband, watching him listen, yet again, to his wife's detailed stories or complaints. Or as a student, watching him befriend the unpopular classmate or striving for that B that never gets noticed. Or in the office, finding him quietly filing another's work, or going to lunch with coworkers he knows will gossip and complain. Or finding him praying in a quiet room, accepting (in the world's eyes) a lesser job position, less valued work, or less pay; or death on a cross - all out of love of God's love for him, and his love for others.

My prayer today. "Father, help me cease striving, accept and rest in the wealth you've given me and put in my heart the love you have for the poor around me. Protect me from judging others because as you say, 'I myself do the same as they'. I ask this confidently because Jesus' death made it possible for me to approach you, Amen."

A Lighter Side of Life

This morning I woke up asking God to lighten the day. Of course the day isn't ending in peals of laughter, but here are a few highlights that remind me to (1) not be too introspective and (2) include these in my 'Blessings' journal tonight.

1. Appeals for "macanoni n cheese" while shopping
2. Red faced and fixing my shirt in the middle of Costco after my toddler pulled at my shirt loudly asking "to see...."
3. Watching Riley eat a huge hot dog with 'reds and yellows' on it and covering her face in it
4. Watching Cara knock a large Sprite off the table and all over the floor to the disdain of hurried office workers on their lunch break
5. Feeling embarrassed at my lack of lunch control while watching a mother of six boys!!!
6. Reading Cinderella to a VERY captive audience
7. Organic Chocolate Chocolate Chip Ice Cream from Whole Foods, is there anything better during naps?

How can I not smile at these small blessings and awkward moments? I've started recording these blessings in a journal over the last month, in response to the book "One Thousand Gifts" - which I've temporarily put down because its a little too serious for me right now. But, I love the idea of looking for God's personal gifts to me in every day life. I encourage you to do the same!

Cities, Subs & Silos

How does one live contentedly and at peace with where they are? I often get this itch to live in the city, with all its energy, people, noises, smells and events. I grew up in a city of 34 million people. I've travelled to a few cities in Europe, Asia, Central and North America. I love cities. But, I also love the countryside and have visited the farm of distant relatives in Schenectady, NY. I love the isolation and smells of mountain forests and the healing sound of ocean waves. But the suburbs? I became truly acquainted with suburb life while in college, where the surrounding city had under 1 million residents. What's to love about this attempt to combine city commodities with country space? Starbucks drive-thru, backyards, shopping malls, fireflies, chain restaurants, increased safety...

What does the city have that a suburb does not? Varying answers abound, and often with a tone of snobbery that accompanies those who, by their physical location, seem to claim they have reached the apex of a meaningful living. A suburb may have the appearance of little energy, but I find the non-stop pace and loneliness of city life carries on in the homes and hearts of suburb dwellers. And I am certain that men and women attempting to fill silos with 24/7 labor, depending on variables completely outside their control, would also show heart struggles similar to city and suburb dwellers.

As a mother, working full-time in the our home, with children age 3 and under, I miss the freedom of eating out whenever I want, having a little money for travel that isn't only to see extended family. I miss the value that volunteer work for city needs once gave my life. But, I need not look for my value in what I do, where I live or in other's opinions (or perceived opinions) of me. My life has value because over two thousand years a poor man died to give me life and freedom and he did this before I ever achieved or became anything by my culture's standards.

I recently read an interesting bit from famous 19th Century London author and preacher, Charles Spurgeon, which prompted this post. He comments on a passage in the Bible (I Chronicles 4:23) which talks about menial, unknown laborers working for the King as lowly potters and farmers. He says, "They may have desired to live in the city, amid its life, society, and refinement, but they kept their appointed places, for they also were doing the King's work. The place of our habitation is fixed, and we are not to remove from it out of whim and caprice, but seek to serve the Lord in it, being a blessing to those among whom we reside." And then he says, "In all works of faith we may count on Jesus' fellowship. It is when we are in his work that we may reckon his smile. Ye unknown workers... be of good cheer...Dwell ye with the King for his work, and when he (God) writes his chronicles your name shall be recorded."

My work may be unknown by my city, it may lack meaning as defined by religious and irreligious culture because I am not working outside the home. But, nor I am more superior by closing my Mary Kay business and choosing to stay at home full-time right now. I have value because Jesus chose to place his spirit within me. I can walk and talk with him, no matter where I live, what my roles or tasks may be. Therein, I am slowly discovering a contentment not of this world.

Home Management System

Before I married, I searched for effective time management at work, but as a stay-at-home mother and wife, life continues to get more complex. I've used a version of the below schedule for over 4 years now and have made some recent adjustments. Its not something I use every week but, when after a busy season, this schedule is comfortable and easy to fall back into. I share this only because I figure it could spur ideas in the care of your own life. Its in no way meant as a brag board. Every life is different, with its own set of obligations, circumstances and people to love. But, if you need structure, like I do, then it may help.

The weekly chart goes in my Home Management Binder, which I try to reference at the start and/or end of each day. I print one for each new week. I do not number my priorities since they constantly change and I want to be flexible and yet still have a guide.

One thing not in the weekly calendar is a Laundry Day because I like doing one load of laundry daily, from start to finish (except on Sunday, if I can help it).

The Prioritization Chart has been the recent key to my success in better carrying out my goals. I took categories from Kenneth Blanchard's book, "On Time Manager", and created this check list.

The most rewarding part of this prioritization chart is how it eliminates a lot of guilt from unfinished tasks and the self-imposed shame from broken verbal commitments. It helps me stay focused.

One thing I try to add each week is doing one special thing for each person in my family. For example, intentionally playing dolls with Riley, or fixing a candlelight dessert for Jon. I got this idea from Linda Dillow's book, "Creative Counterpart", and its wonderful.

I hope this post serves to encourage as you seek ongoing ways of loving others and working well with the time given you. Let me know if you want me to send you the actual excel document so that you can adapt your own. (Ie. If your days off are on Sun/Mon, then move my Sat ideas to your Mondays).